I have a problem. I want to escape, but I don't have enough energy.
Like most people, my job involves constant decision-making. Are the requirements ‘done enough’? Should I go to that meeting? What tests should we write? When should we discuss an upcoming feature? Some are easy & others difficult, but lucky for me, I enjoy the work that is accomplished with these decisions.
The problem is all the counter-productive decisions in my day. I choose to refrain from battling over a stupid process for the tenth time because it’s more efficient to fill out the form. I give in and provide detailed estimates for an upcoming project even though I know there is little value. I try to hide my emotions, a.k.a. not cry, over budget & staffing decisions that I can’t change instead of telling management what I really think.
These choices leave me emotionally and physically drained.
When I get home and consider a career change, at first it seems exhilarating and I take off. Then I start considering all the possibilities and my plane loses velocity. Soon I’m landing and with my feet back on the ground, I convince myself that things will change. Management will come around and if I'm here then I can help them see the error of their ways. And what else would I do anyway? The gravitational field strength takes over and I’m grounded again.
I know I need to escape, but how can I ever reach my escape velocity?